arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via horizons-sinners)

snapslikethis:

queernymphadora:

snapslikethis:

riversnogs:

riversnogs:

That moment in your childhood when you realize that Diagon Alley is just the word diagonally….

image

And the Mirror of Erised is just the word desire backwards.

Didn’t even realize. Does that mean Knockturn Alley is nocturnally (dark/night)?

Yes, and Grimmauld Place is a play on grim old place. 

DUDE.

(via horizons-sinners)

meladoodle:

ladies laaaaadies, theres plenty of me to go around *detaches arm* thats for you Brenda

(via loserslol)

grandpacain:

macklemorethanlikely:

i don’t understand why some people want the power to freeze things or fly or be invisible

dude imagine if you could stop time

like you could literally just stop time for a year and just do nothing or write a book

or you could stop time at night and literally have a full night’s worth of sleep in less than a second

you’d have so much time to do whatever you want

wow, i could get even more procrastinating done!

(via viennadior)

sassings:

wish i was witty and cute but instead im sarcastic and annoying

(via timef0ranswers)

lrnaonerd:

how do people rap i cant even talk without messing it up

(via cumfort)

alzix:

I live in constant fear of being shit on by a bird

(via magicul)

untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

(Source: gingerbreadlou, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

napfap:

if u think i’m looking ugly today just wait until tomorrow i’ll be even uglier

(via loserslol)

  • Homework: A
  • Classwork: A
  • Project: A
  • Test: F
  • Final grade: F
givemeinternet:

My new favorite gif

flamingno:

people without passwords on their phones are the strongest and most terrifying people you will ever meet

(via hardest-to-love)

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